I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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