maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
