Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
