ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
