this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
