My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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