You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The adults are the big ones right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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