I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
