pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
