Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
only if we run a train.
done.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
