Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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