worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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