My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
