I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
