So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
