So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
