You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
