Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
