If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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