and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
