he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
