come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
