she woke up with a sticky ear
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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