Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
