you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
