so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
