i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
