so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
