What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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