i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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