I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
