i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
