Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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