i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize