Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
