how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
this will be a night to untag.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
