oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
