Whod you bang
i think my tv is drunk
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
