hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
