i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
