There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
