No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
