Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
