The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I will pee on everything he values.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
