I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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