In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
