I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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