never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
