She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
