Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my shit smells like andre
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
