Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
