Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
operation harelip BJ is a go
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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