I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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