So drunk its hurt
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
