i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
