I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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