So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
